Posty Post Post...

I decided that I am going to go to the gym today. My boyfriend and I are both going on this diet hard, so I figure I will do my part and go to the gym more. I've been doing that bootcamp video, but going to the gym too can't hurt.

I did eat last night after 7, actually it was after 9 when I got out of class. I ate a bunch of cheerios.

I did really good on my carbs yesterday-- except for the cheerio binge-- but whatever. I needed food to think to do my homework.

Today I've eaten---
3 eggs scrambled (0 carbs and prob 210 calories)
1 rice cake with peanut butter (total 14 carbs and probably 280 calories)
1 cup hot chocolate (sugar free) (4 carbs, and 25 calories)

Plus tons of water. I am going to start drinking tons of water... I have to curb this appetite of mine.

---I then went to school.

I came home and ate a lollipop, carrots, and a string cheese.

For dinner I had a chicken patty in a wrap with banana peppers, and broccolli.

I then passed out somehow, I must have been really tired. I woke up feeling hungry-- so instead of drinking water I had a salad with italian dressing.

Sitting there my roommate was like I made homemade peanutbutter fudge, so of course I had some... two small squares.

Then I started my homework and binged on cheerios.





I have to figure out a way to stop this cheerio binging at night. I keep drinking loads of water but it doesn't take the hungry away at night.

I need to figure this out and find a better way to stop me from doing this.

:( :(

Trying my best...

In the summer, at my highest weight, I weighed 242. That was maybe between May and June. In april I broke up with the ex boyfriend, so I lost some weight--where I fell down to was around 234-235. I met the new boyfriend :) and he helped me realize that I needed to get healthly because I wasn't feeling very well.

Right now I weigh 208 (and this is from September when I weighed 234).

So I can either say I lost 34 pounds (242 - 208) or that I lost 26 pounds (234 - 208).

I think I would rather tell people that I lost 34 pounds, but I feel like I would be lying, although I am not.




I just need to keep trying my best at this and see where it goes. I want to lose these last 8 pounds for my first goal by the new year. I think I can do it :)

No more sweets...

So, I realized after a few trial and errors that I am no longer able to eat sweets, or have tons of sugar. It makes me extremely ill where I get a headache, nausea and sink into the fetal position where I rock back and forth for a few hours.

Found this out after I made homemade cookies with my sister last night. I had about 5 (haha, wayyyyy too many, but I figured hey! its thanksgiving and I didn't have any pie today!) Horrible Idea.

Horribe Idea. Horrible, horrible, horrible idea. I felt soooo sick. Then it occured to me that this happens when I eat a lot of sweets... so BAM!

No more sweets. If I do have some it will be in moderation... but is it really worth it if it is going to make me feel extremely ill? No, its not.

I'd rather eat tons of healthy food than a cookie which is going to make me feel like I am going to die.



I am so happy now that I have figured this out, now it will be easier for me to say no to sweets, and hello to everything else. :)

No longer a human garbage can...

So I have been doing really well with my eating lately. Lately I mean monday and today. Monday I ate just what I needed, and nothing more. It worked out really well. I did all the homework that was due, hid in my room and did homework without food.

I also have done the skinny bitch workout two days in a row and I highly reccommend it. Not only is it a really good workout that gets your heart pumping-- but it is simply hilarious.

I want to loose 8 pounds by January 1 2011.

I can do this. :)

Bootcamp kicked my butt :)

That Skinny Bitch bootcamp video really kicked my ass, I recommend it to anyone who wants a good workout and wants to actually be able to feel it the next day.

I did good with my eating today-- except for that half cup of icecream and 2 cookies. But sometimes you just need it. ;)

I am determined to keep on doing well so it doesn't matter.
I want to get down to 170 or 160 as my ultimate goal. I don't NEED to be a size 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, maybe a 9 or 10 though. :) that is pretty average :)

I shouldn't eat anything else today-- but I feel like I want some soup. Hmm.. I won't... I will just keep drinking more water until it fills my tum tum. :) haha.

I feel great! except for that all my muscles hurt. Time to do that workout again tomorrow :)

Back on track...and it feels great.

Getting back on track was definitely needed since I have been slacking on being on a diet and being healthy. I am still under 210, probably 209 or something. I don't think I was 206 last week, I didn't have my glasses on when I weighed myself.

But today is a new day and I tried.

For breakfast I had an egg wrap. The wrap has 11 grams of carbs and 7 of those carbs were dietary fiber, BUT I read somewhere online when talking about whole wheat, or vegetables.. you should subtract the dietary fiber carbs, because those are complex carbs and take awhile for your stomach to digest. That way those carbs help you with energy.

So I had an egg wrap (4 carbs) and apple & cinnamon oatmeal (22) carbs. So my breakfast was 26 carbs.

For lunch I had homemade soup that I made.... I had about 1.5 cups. so that was around 26.2 carbs. and a cup of hot chocolate.... 14 carbs. :)

I am trying to stick to 90 carbs a day. Right now it is at 66.2 carbs.

I can have 23.8 more.... I wonder what I am going to eat for dinner. MAYBE CHICKEN!! Sorry, I got excited.. I like chicken.

Anyway.... I bought a workout DVD a while ago called "SKINNY BITCH BOOTCAMP"

I tried it today and it kicked my ass, but it felt great. I only did the cardio and sculpting part, since I don't want to work on abs just yet.... I don't want to build muscle under my fat... then I will just look bigger!

Poo.

I feel great today :)

I look like a teacher... :)

I look smaller from the back! This is me teaching a mixed grade high school fine arts class. :)







Yay :)


Now if I can only stick to my diet and get under 200 pounds!

:/

Stressed eating... :(

I have been stressed out because of the shit load of school work I have to do-- the past 3 days (sunday, monday and today) I feel like I have been overeating wayyy too much. I taught today at the highschool... so glad its over... I feel less stressed now...

but I overate today... wayyyyyyy too much.

Today:
granola bar (22 carbs)
4 pieces of chocolate (25 carbs)
4 carrots (3 carbs)
2 or 3 handfulls of chips (they were in a sandwich bag.. it might have been two) (probably like 45 carbs)
4 chicken wonton tacos from applebee's (probably like 60 carbs)
3/4 cup of mac-n-cheese (40 carbs maybe?)
1 piece of wheat bread (18 carbs)
1 kid size polish water ice (omg no idea, maybe like 45?)
piece of gum (2 carbs)

I don't think I consumer anything else today... if I did I don't remember... which is sad...

I'm not adding that up... but it was a lot of nonsense that I ate today. so the carbs are over 200 and something.

holy shit... this is horrible....

Weigh in...

At work I weigh 210/211. I had on jeans, socks, undershirt, bra, shirt. I feel as though clothing seriously adds a few pounds... at least 1 or 2.

I never know how much I actually weigh because I weigh myself on a few different scales. At the gym at school, the scale at work at the old people home, at my house, and my apartment at school.

I wanted to make sure that my scale at home is right, so I weighed a bag of flour that was unopened and should have weighed 5 pounds... and it did.

So to me that tells me the scale is right.... so this morning I weighed myself and it was 206. Then I put my clothing on and weighed myself... and it was around 209.

If the scale is RIGHT, and I do weigh 206 lbs... then I lost 28 pounds already-- from September.

thats really exciting. :)

And if the scale isn't right... I still must have lost 5 pounds from last week or two weeks ago... because the scale went down.

:) :)

I need to keep up the good work! and start going to the gym more!!

Needs a kick in the 'badonk' to start moving...

I do not feel motivated this week. I wish I were motivated, I think I went to the gym on monday, and I took a walk on tuesday, but after that I didn't really do anything. I have been slacking on my eating too, I guess starting tomorrow I am going to try to go hardcore with the whole "only 90 carbs" thing.

I need to stop my craving for sweets, maybe if I tell myself that carrots are actually chocolate I will eat them-- and pretend.

My family loves that I am losing weight-- except for me already losing 25 pounds is not good enough for them. It has to be more, and more, and more, etc. blah Blah BLAH.

I want to try to get down to 170 by next fall. So hopefully I can do this, it is going to take a lot of hard work, will power, exercise and pretending. Haha.

I think I might start doing workout videos in the morning before I go to classes, that might be more valuable than sleeping till 10:30 everyday... haha.

I will do "Skinny Bitch BootCamp" I am really exctied about it, so maybe it will help. I have noticed thought that the half mile walk to class does not make me HUFF and PUFF anymore...

Buying ginger snap cookies was a horrible idea...

Cookies are amazing. I love cookies, any kind of cookies. I bought ginger snap cookies at the store the other day. Horrible Idea.

I am going to hide them somewhere, or give them to my roommate to hide in her room.

I didn't go to the gym today-- I could have went but it is mighty cold. I just took a walk around our apartment complex thing with my roommate Stacie. I cut off short though, since she was going to run a few laps and I'm not ready for that yet.

I am cleaning my room and organizing, I should be exercising. Maybe I will do that after I get my room in order, break out the 'ol exercise ball and weights.

Maybe, just maybe.

Btw, I did decently good on carbs today. I am trying to stick to 120 and below.
oatmeal-- 28
ice pop--4
3 pieces of gum-- 6
soup-- 34
4 cookies-- 29.3
1/2 sandwich with turkey, cheese, mustard--- probably around 12
string cheese--- 0
water/sugar free juice stuff--- 0
handful of cheerios-- 22
half a peanut butter cookie--- i'm going to guess... 14?

okay... so that was 149.3.... so like 150.
shit. I did bad.
I didn't think I did quite that bad today.


Tomorrow I will try harder to do better.

Tattoo as a reward?

So, I think if I get down to 199 between now and January something (whenever I start my next semester) I will get a tattoo.

I want to get part of a famous painting or something... I already have a tattoo of a dove on my right shoulder blade... and I feel like meeting and reaching a goal would be a good time to get another one.

I am going to the gym later tonight I finally found my I.D. and now I will not have to pay $15 for a new one... thankgoodness.

I can't wait to go to the gym.. its the only time I really get to hang out with my friends stacie and julia.

Class soon at 6, I really hate that its already dark out and its only 5:39pm.

Poo.

Just keep swimming... just keep swimming...

I feel like "just keep swimming.." is an appropriate name for this post.
I LOVE the attention and encouragement I am getting from everyone around me with this whole weight loss thing-- it might be a huge part of the motivation that is keeping me moving.

Of course I keep myself moving, and I never want to be 234 pounds ever again-- but some days its harder to stay away from the sweets than other days.

My first goal is 200 pounds. I weighed myself today on my house scale 209. When I am at my apartment I am 210-215. At the gym 211 and at work 212. I am thinking I should just add them up, then divide by 4 and get the average ;)

It averages to 211, just as I suspected. I never know which ones to trust.... seems the work, gym, and home scales usually are the same, and the apartment scale is off. Let's hope so.

So 11 more pounds to loose until I reach 200. Trying to reach that goal before christmas (I want to show my family that I can do it--- rub it in their faces a little bit)

So this is my plan:
since I lost my school I.D. I need to buy a new one-- so then I will go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week (since I actually had to spend money for a new I.D. if thats the case),

and when I am hungry I am going to drink a glass of water or two, then wait 15 minutes to see if I am still hungry.

(Thirst disguises itself as hunger, that dirty hoe.)

Determined...

By the way... this is my cat :)





I've been trying to be good on my diet, and I have been. However, recently I have discovered that I lack the willpower I once thought I had. I need to regain that willpower and not regain any weight. :)

Right now I am at home (not at college, but my actual house) where my cat is sitting above my head, purring at me, nudging his warm jelly bean toes of death against my neck. I love this feeling of being adored. Haha.

I have a really awesome and supportive boyfriend too, that really helps. He is incredible and made me dinner the other night, I got home from class to my apartment and he had made honey mustard chicken with broccoli and homemade vegetable soup. :) It was quite delicious.

I am thankful to have support while I am going through this (and through this I mean my journey of losing weight) Its helping me keep on track-- and I now see that eating the way I used to is unhealthy-- and I do NOT want to gain the 23 pounds that I lost back... I want to loose 23 more pounds :)

I set a goal for myself, I want to get down to 200 or 199! by January 1st. So that is 11 pounds in almost two months-- I think I can definitely do that.

I may have lost my I.D (student I.D.) to go to the gym at school-- so that means money down the drain to buy a new one-- but I guess it is worth it if I can exercise. I did go to the gym twice this week though-- and walked to class 4 out of 5 days.

I can do this. :)

Banana Nut Cheerios-- and Guilt.

I am the one in the yellow :)
I love when I hear people telling me that I look so good now, and I am doing well.
My team member for teaching said "hey, i saw you in the hallway, didn't recognize you if you didn't have your backpack on.."
and another girl from my class said "i thought you looked different..."
My dad notices, people at work notice, my boyfriend notices...

I notice it too, most days. But I still see my stomach, my arm fat that dangles (haha, forest gump-- jenny taught me how to swing, i taught her how to dangle...) and my B cup sized back boobies....

One day though, that will all be gone :)

11 more pounds to lose until I reach 200!


SO, I weight 211 now... (which is a 23 pound weight loss since beginning of September)

I was feeling fantastic (actually going to the gym soon in about 30 minutes with one of my best friends!)

Then.... I picked up my half full container of Banana Nut Cheerios. Lets just say, that container is empty, and I probably consumed a good... 80 carbs or so. dammit.

Lets see, this morning breakfast 11 carbs, lunch 16, lollipop (shit i shouldn't have done that!) 10, 2 icepops 8 carbs..... so thats 45 carbs.

plus...the 80 or so I just consumed in Banana Nut Cheerios.

There goes my day... Hope i didn't want to eat dinner... lol.